Full disclosure: I have no memory of writing and posting my last entry, Day 6. In fact, I don’t have much memory of the 20 days I spent in the hospital. Snippets, really.
I do remember the stem team telling me on Sunday (17th) that I’d be released on Tuesday (19th), and I was a deer in headlights. The doctor assured me that I’d be ok to go home. I was walking laps, eating enough, hydrated, and my counts had started to rise. Blood pressure was still low, but I just had to be careful and slow going from laying to upright.
Monday, CeCe, my central line in my chest, was yanked out. Literally, guys, YANKED. It fucking hurt and I’m pretty sure I cursed. They slapped a band-aid on the insision and sent me on my way.
I tried to start packing up, but I kept getting so winded and tired, I felt a little helpless.
Discharge was between 11am and 12pm. I was out the door by noon and on my way home to a fully decorated house, and all new worries.
So far, it’s been great to be home. Having the comfort of my own bed was the best thing ever. Being back with my girl, Pepper, made me feel no longer lonely. The energy and noise of the boys is music, for the most part. But being at Jeff’s side again, right where I belong, there are just no words. There are a lot of happy tears though.
It’s about a week of being back home now. Eating is still a huge turn off, but I’m doing the best I can. Drinking 64 oz is also difficult, but I’m getting it done. Coffee has been a no-go, but I’ve been reassured by my doctor my taste for it will return. At my first check-up last week, my counts had jumped up, which is really good. My stem cells are in my bone marrow and new cells are being made. This doesn’t change the fact that my immune system is immature. I am highly susceptible to illness. I am still on a low microbial diet. I am still so weak. Just so weak.
Jeff is taking amazing care of me. I am so incredibly thankful for him. I am the luckiest girl.
Thank you to everyone that continues to help out with the Meal Train. Although I cannot enjoy what is sent over, it is so very helpful and appreciated by Jeff and the boys.
I love you all. Thanks for checking in. 💜
Coffee and Chemo 